do you know what literally drives me up the fucking wall?
“The world is divided between kids who grow up wanting to be their parents and those like us, who grow up wanting to be anything but. Neither group ever succeeds.”
― Richard Russo, Straight Man
a tv show called ‘secret liberal,’ starring me as i struggle to maintain civil conversation with family members whose wills i do not want to be cut out of
dang girl are you my appendix because I don’t understand how you work but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out
That is quite possibly the weirdest and most carefully thought out pickup line I’ve ever read. I applaud you.